I Will Follow You Into The Dark

See my servant shall prosper; he shall be exalted and lifted up, and shall be very high. Just as there were many who were astonished at him - so marred was his appearance beyond human semblance, and his form beyond that of mortals...But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his bruises we are healed...He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth (Isaiah 52:13-14, 53:5, 7) NRSV

No love story can be true unless the lovers are willing to die for each other, to pour everything they have and are out for the salvation of the other. Jesus proved his love for us by dying for us on a cross. This is the sad, horrific, terrifying part of our love story with our beautiful God. He had to save us from ourselves, from the justice we deserved, by taking our place and being tortured and killed worse than anyone ever in history. He saved us and gave us new life. He saved us so that in 1 million years we can walk in intimacy with Yahweh and he will never look at us with bitterness or judgement for our past sins against him in our relationship to him, but instead it was all finished when he poured out that wrath we deserved on his own Son on the cross. Jesus' love is true beyond all measure. His love for us is passionate, perfect, desirable above all things. He is gorgeous inside and out.

I remember a few years back I went through a time of mourning for Jesus' suffering and death and I'd read these verses and sob for hours and hours. I know he was resurrected, but he's oh so perfect and beautiful - and yet he was treated so horribly. It hurt my heart - wounded me. And then I read this and realized it was coming true for me:

And I will pour out a spirit of compassion and supplication on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, so that when they look on the one whom they have pierced, they shall mourn for him, as one mourns for an only child, and weep bitterly over him, as one weeps over a firstborn. On that day the mourning in Jerusalem will be as great as the mourning for Hadad-rimmon in the plain of Megiddo. The land shall mourn, each family by itself - Zechariah 12:10-12

The angels mourned and wept when he died.

And I'd listen to this song by Death Cab For Cutie:

Jesus did one other thing when he took our sins from us: he destroyed the power of death and sin forever! No longer do we ever have to fear these things if we have his precious blood on us, cleansing us. We are his! Our Beloved's, we are the desired one of the King Christ Jesus. And death and sin cannot consume us ever again. He walked out of his tomb. And by his power, after we die (if the Rapture doesn't come before!), one day so will we :)

Be encouraged, please! And be emboldened. We have Jesus, a perfect Lover, a perfect God, who is all OURS! Nothing can separate us from him ever if we are in him. Live! Laugh! Love! Show others God's joy and love. Live today and tomorrow not like it's your last day to live, but live it because you are alive and are alive forever more because you are saved by him! We are alive to be with Jesus Christ forever; let's bring as many as we can to this incredible joy and hope he has given us. God bless you and be very near to you and love you and give you a spirit of rejoicing. Give what joy he has given you in closeness and intimacy with him and let others know what joy and love he offers freely to those who accept and adore him :)

Outtakes!

I thought I should share this, it was funny to me when I was writing my last post (and I know Jesus loves to laugh, so this is in no way unholy to him). But when I looked up the picture for the Isaiah verse about God being a God who hides, I found this picture - and decided not to post it, lol! But thought it was a funny moment from the Spirit to share :)

Oh those cats! I'm not sure how God made them so funny to talk about, but he's definitely got a sense of humor!

In the Throes of Passion [Worship], Joy

I think that when the Bible is nebulous about something, about an interpretation, I think that God meant it that way. He knew we would have a hard time interpreting his Word when it's not completely clear. Like Song of Songs - where is God talking and we are we talking? It's hard to say one way or the other. And even though the beloved in the book does say that fire burns like a flame of Yah, if that's God talking, it wouldn't be the first time God called another member of the Trinity his Lord (Psalm 110:1). I think it can be hard for a man to relate to Jesus using the bridal imagery used so often. Eg Do we as men take on femininity to relate to Jesus as our Lover? No. We are who we are. And it takes both the strength of men and the beauty of women to image God (Genesis 1:27). So God could easily be speaking throughout the book of Song of Songs as either the Lover or the Beloved. I think God is nebulous sometimes because he wants to be desired, pursued.

Truly you are a God who hides himself - Isaiah 45:15 (NIV)

I think that's the part of him who is imaged more by women - women want to be pursued by their men.

I love this Christian philosopher Peter Kreeft. I've quoted him several times, but I think he's really onto something that couldn't be more obvious when we realize who we are as image bearers of God (that's what sanctification is about, us becoming more like Jesus' image-which is what God originally made us to be in the first place; so in a very realistic way, we are becoming who we were meant to be, who we really are). Joy and pleasure go hand in hand with worship. Our life with God is about falling in love with him, more than anything and everyone else. It's a love story :) That's the first commandment, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength; it's not just us as slaves yielding to our Master, which is the very reason Jesus said I have not called you servants but friends (John15:15). It's to adore and love him with everything we are, body, soul, and mind. And our earthly marriages are the image we have of our relationship to God we will have with him in eternity. That's the big picture of the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation. And worshiping our Lover is suppose to be something far more intimate, far more close, far more joyful and pleasurable and celebratory than anything else in the world, even sex-which is the closest thing we have to worship, John Eldredge said in Journey of Desire. Eldredge went on to ask, does your worship of God come anywhere close to your wedding night? Of course not! But it should. Kreeft said of submitting to God, that "it is exactly like a woman's voluntary sexual surrender to a man." (Joy; I highly recommend looking up his website and reading this and also his essay on Sex in Heaven?) And he went on to say,

Even the tiny foretaste of heaven that we can all have here on earth by surrendering to God is as much more joyful than the greatest ecstasy sex can give, just as being with your beloved is more joyful than being with her picture.

Take Song of Songs 1 (From The Message):

Kiss me—full on the mouth!
Yes! For your love is better than wine,
headier than your aromatic oils.
The syllables of your name murmur like a meadow brook.
No wonder everyone loves to say your name!

Take me away with you! Let's run off together!
An elopement with my King-Lover!
We'll celebrate, we'll sing,
we'll make great music.
Yes! For your love is better than vintage wine.
Everyone loves you—of course! And why not?

This is joy together, joy and happiness and pleasure in relationship; it's worship of the other. And complete rejoicing, worshiping always. We can say that about our Lover God, and God can say the same thing back to us (we're even coheirs with Christ and we reign with him; we have everything our heart's could ever desire in our beautiful God, how wonderful and lovely and perfect he is?!?!). He said

As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you - Isaiah 62:5 (NIV)

And as God's lover we will forever rejoice in his love, his embrace, his kisses; we will never be separated from him - Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love Romans 8:38.

And we will rejoice in the consummation of our marriage to our God Jesus Christ. And it will be incredible, wonderful, perfect, joyful, pleasurable; it will put a smile on our faces and make us dance for joy. As Kreeft said in Is There Sex in Heaven?

This spiritual intercourse with God is the ecstasy hinted at in all earthly intercourse, physical or spiritual. It is the ultimate reason why sexual passion is so strong, so different from other passions, so heavy with suggestions of profound meanings that just elude our grasp.

As John Eldredge and Brent Curtis wrote in The Sacred Romance, as we read Song of Songs and watch these two lovers through their bedroom window, we turn and look into God's eyes and realize that what he desires with us is something much more sensuous, much more exotic than sex itself.

As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 2:9, no eye as seen, nor ear heard, nor mind conceived the things which God has prepared for those who love him.

As Psalm 37:4 said about us delighting in Jesus and him giving us our heart's desires, perhaps the things he has prepared for us, is what he plans to do with us once we are all his. Can you imagine the honeymoon he must have planned? We give God such great pleasure by worshiping him, he must have something incredible, amazing planned for us with him. The most sensual, joyful intimacy with our Lover filled with unending romantic rendezvouses. Imagine playing with him, laughing and giggling in his arms with your heart fully satisfied. Going for swims in the pool, stretching out in his embrace on the beach. And can you imagine the food? i bet it will be awesome. Or what about dancing with him? (Jeremiah 31:4 says we will have a huge dance after God returns to earth; I bet it wouldn't take much to get him out to the dancefloor ;) He even wants to serenade you for crying out loud - Zephaniah 3:17. It couldn't be more obvious, our God is a Lover at heart. And his love is true, because it's so true and real that he even died to save us from a cent of condemnation. We are his, forever and ever. So when the world gets you down, or you feel like you are missing out on this sex-crazed culture we live in, or feeling lonely because you are alone, renew your heart and soul and body in this hope we have for the life we will live with our Beloved Jesus Christ as his lover.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him - Psalm 62:5

And let everyone see it too! Don't hide your joy, as Peter wrote:

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have - 1 Peter 3:15

And then we can live in this culture purely, since 'all who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure' - 1 John 3:3

I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
Let him lead me to the banquet hall,
and let his banner over me be love.
Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love. Song of songs 2:3

And then we will walk off into the sunset with him, forever his, together with each other and him.

Love Letters and Vulnerability

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)

I found that his Word pierces me more than anything in my life; and the piercing isn't with fear of retribution or wrath or a sense of alert to a God who is capable of destroying me. It was a piercing that made me feel vulnerable. A feeling that I am completely bare to him. It's a totally wonderful feeling. It feels vulnerable. Like the Holy Spirit is permeating every part of me and it's just pure joy, a sense of pleasure beyond anything else. It's reading what he says to us as a romance. And then feeling the overbearing joy he has in us through his Spirit.

We so often are whelmed by the overbearing omnipotence of God. And true, fear of Yahweh is the beginning of wisdom. But perhaps that fear is also the first fear we have knowing how vulnerable in love we are to him? How being near to God who is so madly in love with us, who wants to marry us,

“In that day,” declares the LORD,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master. Hosea 2:16

that it makes us nervous, vulnerable. Almost like we found out that Someone we know has a crush on us. It's a love that gives butterflies. God did say if you delight in him he will give you your heart's desires (Psalm 37:4). But to get your heart's desires, you have to delight in him. So through the relationship with him, you get your heart's desires. And what do we all desire? Love. A lover who will be there for us in every moment, every day, forever. And that's what God desires to be with us. It's why when he returns for us, we will never again think of him as our Master and us his servants. He will then be one thing to us: our Spouse, says Hosea 2:16. Read this passage from Song of Songs 7:10-13 and imagine God saying this about you:

I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me.
Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved.

We have caught the eye of the Son of God, and he will have us for himself. He burns for us, he desires us, he wants us. Why not give yourself to him? Not only will you have a Lover who adores and burns for you always, but you will have forever joy and pleasure at his Spirit's touch and embrace, who lives inside us who love him. And you will begin a relationship with him that when we are finally wed to him and we are in the consummation of the marriage, God can look back over our lives with him and he can present to us in his loving heart that which he has stored up all these delicacies of love and daydreams and moments with us, both new and old, through our lives with his lovely Spirit.

God, Madly in Love

It's been awhile since I've posted, but for some reason I feel God pushing me back to blogging :) Over the months, I've learned a couple things in my relationship with God. The worst has been the utter distance we have with him here in this world; it's a frustration, a frustration of desire. It's a hanging of fulfillment until we are with him. Augustine called it God's way of extending the soul to make room in it for the love and joy we will have with him when we are in our Beloved's arms. But, it is still frustration...

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It's knowing the Love of our life is permeating our every part, our every atom, yet we cannot touch him, cannot hold him; the satisfaction of his embrace is oh so close, yet no where to be found. But we are left longing in the suspense of the romance with him. And the thing is, it creates this tension in our story with God. It creates tension in our souls, in our bodies, in our emotions. A romantic tension which can only be satisfied with his return and our forever marriage to him. When, oh when, will we have him finally to touch, to hold, to never let go? Soon. But how soon is left up to our Father. In this life we will have trouble, Jesus said. That trouble is not always sin or evil, but instead it's also the trouble of missing him and being in his embrace.

The best thing I have learned is more of how much God is madly in love with us. No matter how much we ignore him, he still craves us, desires us more than ever. He will still rejoice in us and will do anything to make us happy, to make us smile. And when we are finally in his arms, our Lover's arms, he will rejoice over us as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride. His love is never ending, and far transcends our fickleness, our ups and downs and is always pursuing us to win our hearts and marry him. He will always pursue, until we are his, married, the celebration begins, the balloons are released to the sky, and forever more.

And, then the ironically sad part, God wants us to be happy while we wait patiently for him. True, he does want us to mourn for the loss of others, to wait quietly, crying inside for his return. But he also wants us to rejoice in his Spirit while we wait patiently on our God. It's why in Ecclesiastes God says be happy with your spouse and your work. Be happy in your family and what you do in this world. He is saying, I want you to be happy while you are away from me because my Kingdom starts here in this world with my Holy Spirit. And sometimes this leaves us alone with him even when surrounded by believers and community. The romance with God has a way of isolating us even when we have more family and friends than we can count. Because we are missing our Beloved. And inevitably, it comes to us standing in the middle of a field alone yelling at the sky how much we love our Lover Jesus Christ. And though our love story with him is missing so much on this earth before his return, he loves us so much and is so unselfish that he wants us to smile from the depths of our hearts while we worship and love him here. Even though he is away. He wants us to be happy :) And that's because he is good. He is very good :)