Catharsis/Writing

We are finally not sick (at least not that much). Hahaha! In retrospect, my last post was premature. We got much more sick. My wife contracted Scarlet Fever (we think). I got gout (or if not gout, my feet were retaining a TON of water). Our fevers went up once more. And then we were better :) And the storm has almost passed. Wow. God had grace on us.

And so now we're in this place of rest. A month of time to spend in God and family. Finals are over. The sickness is gone. And so the other day, my wife and I went to a really cool coffeehouse in town. I got a three shot decaf Americano and my wife got a cup of granola and we drove around town and in the countryside and talked. It was great :) And I realized how badly I wanted to write a book. I've been wanting to do that for years and years, but never really had the time before. And now I do. And so now I think I'm going to do that. And maybe if it's God's will, I'll have a book in some publisher's hands by the time I graduate and I can do what I've always wanted to do: write about God's love. I really hope this works out and that it's God's will. If it's not, it's okay too :) But I'm going to start working on it and hopefully finish most of it by the time winter break is done.

Do you ever feel like life goes really fast? And each day there are like a thousand memories, but then the day is gone. And a new day begins and a thousand new wonderful memories. But at the center of it all you know that God is the center beam in this whirl of beauty but it's so hard to hold onto him because sometimes he's not there; he's elusive (remember Isaiah saying God you truly are a God who hides himself). He's not tangible, yet. And he stretches across time and as badly as we want to also, we can't. We wish too and in Heaven probably will (John 10:34, Psalm 82:6, we are really gods and goddesses) and we probably were meant too (Ecclesiastes 3:11, God has set eternity in our hearts-both desires and stretching through time and so being like God,1 John 3:2)

But it's still hard here, wishing and waiting on him. That's why I want to write a book and what I want to write it about. Hopefully, it will be Jesus' will! We'll see!

And if I get writer's block, I'll just clean the house! (it actually helps. haha!)

Resting In His Words

This is has been a tough week. I'm fighting through finals week and tonight is my last night to study. Rewind back to Sunday night, my daughter was in a lot of pain because of her tooth. I was walking her in the kitchen to help her sleep. It was like 4am. I was tired. And I heard God say, "I've given you the strength to get through this." In hind sight, I had NO idea what was going to happen. I thought that was the worst of it. Haha. Nope. And the only reason I got through it was because of his words.

The next night, my sweet little girl got a cold. A bad one :( And late nights studying interspersed with times of comfort for my darling daughter turned into bedtime (for me) at 6 am! And I was working the 1:30-3 and 4-5:30 am comfort shifts with my beautiful wife taking the other times. When I wasn't helping her, I was studying. And boy, oh boy, it came down hard on my body. By Wednesday, my wife and I catch her cold. It hits us hard. We both are badly sleep deprived and there's also the hard pressure of finals. And throughout the days and nights, there have come several moments where I think to myself, "This is too much. It's beyond me. I can't do it." And then those words God spoke to me pop in my head. I've given you the strength to get through this. I really didn't have the slightest clue when Jesus said that to me Sunday night how badly I needed to hear those words from him. I passed in and out of consciousness tonight as my wife played with my daughter. And I woke up, feeling not good, but I felt a renewed strength and determination to finish what we started. I'm so close to graduating next spring. And I need to pass these last classes this week and next Spring and I'm done. God helped me finish the race.

As we all know, the romance with our Beloved Jesus is not always a wonderful ecstasy. Sometimes we have to go through the fire and it's not pretty. But his grace is always sufficient. He never gives us too much that we can't handle. And through it we become more and more like our Beloved.

Daddy + Daughter

The other day I had this perfect moment with my daughter. I was holding her in my arms, she was asleep, and I was rocking her back and forth and slowly dancing with her as we listened to Coldplay's Christmas Lights.



We have Christmas lights up in our living room (it's very Dan-In-Real-Life-ish; PS if you haven't seen that movie, rent it. Now! It's me and my wife's fav movie ever). The sun was setting outside. And I just started crying. All my life I have always wanted a daughter. And of course I have one :) But I just started thanking Jesus for her. I knew it was the Holy Spirit talking through me to Jesus (when the Spirit gives us words to pray for when we cannon verbalize the things of the heart). It was absolutely wonderful :) One of the best moments, easily.

This girl has absolutely stolen my heart. I'm crazy about her. I don't think I realized before we had her that I would be this in love with her (if you're a parent, you might know what I'm saying here). In a very real way, I fall more in love with her every day.

I have my work cut out for me though. My wife is an awesome mommy. She absolutely 'beasts' mommyhood. She's selfless, loving, patient, and soooo much fun. I have to bring the full out Jim Carry zanyness every day just to catch up to her and in a desperate hope to keep my daughter's attention over her! lol.

So much I hear though about fathers not involved in their daughters' lives. My goodness! Why not?? Aside from all the extreme benefits spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally, they are missing out on having an awesome little girl think they are superman and can do anything in the world. And that's a feeling you can't get elsewhere except from her.

As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed. Proverbs 26:10 (NIV)
Or better than 'bed' how about couch?

Here's my challenge to these Godly dads, wake up! These gifts from God we call children, our daughters, are oh so important, special, amazing. The things a girl derives from her father and her relationship with him will be one of the main dictating factors as to how she decides to allow herself to be treated by men when she grows up, whether or not she will believe those disgusting, derogatory messages about her body, appearance, and dress from media and peers (ie the world), how much she will pursue her Heavenly Father, and how much self-worth she'll derive and where it comes from (from God & knowing she's saved & redeemed & is an image bearer of our Lovely God or from a sleazy boyfriend who uses her for her body, 'friends' who are the personification of the world, and grocery store checkout magazines with the latest Hollywood glam)

Whatever it is hindering you from all out loving your daughter, deal with it at the cross. Fast.

Then, start again :) God is all about fresh starts.

Give her attention. Spent time with her.

Have fun! You can read a book together.



If you run out of ideas fast...

Don't be afraid to take some pointers from your best friend, your wife :)




And of course, play! Play!! Play!!!



Make her smile. Make her laugh. Do everything you can to make her never forget these times & remember them one day as 'the good ole days.' You, as a father, have this power. Believe in yourself because you are saved in Christ.

Love, Love, Love :)

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. - 1 John 4:8

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20

How rich and wonderful our God's love is. He is just incredible. As I grow and learn together with my wife, I just keep realizing how beautiful his heart is. It's like our story, no matter what twists and turns and bends there might be, is always very good. And it's because of Jesus. I know it. His heart toward all of us is love.

I've fallen so much deeper in love with Jesus the past couple weeks. His beauty, his heart, his touch, his embrace, everything about him is so perfect. He is like this warm inviting pool calling me to come and wade out deeper and deeper into. He is our Lover. He adores us. He wants to marry us and give us our heart's desires.

I really wanted to write some thoughts on loving Jesus and loving others. Here are a few :)

1) Go on a date with Jesus. Let him romance you and you get the time to worship him. Make it special. That's what my wife and I say when we are jonesin' for a date night. Go to a bookstore or a coffeehouse and just sit with him, cuddle up with him in some corner of a bookstore and read to him. Tell him you love him. Go for a romantic walk with him (even though it can be really cold this time of year). The only thing here is it's just you and him and it's something special. Share what is important to your heart with him. What are your heart's desires? Whatever they are, share that too. This is about pursuit. Pursuing his heart and letting him romance and woo yours. This is one of the ways a love relationship grows.

Try something new too. One night, stay home with him. Make dinner and enjoy him over a special meal. Try something you would not ever make, but would love to eat. Even get dressed up? It's just you and him. Date him.

And make sure to go less in this direction:



And more like this:



[I don't know. lol. I just wanted to somehow get that Wyoming pic in because it's hilarious.]

2) Worship him. Be intimate with him. Come alone, just you two. And worship him. Love him. Tell him everything. Adore him. It's how we kiss him with our soul. And let him love you. Enjoy his presence. Enjoy him :) Sometimes it can be really hard to do this since we flit and flutter about in our minds and hearts so much, but try this: Just lie somewhere, don't move, don't think, but just listen to him. And then tell him you surrender to him. Let him come to you and love you. "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10). Let him love on you, enjoy you, be close and intimate to you. He wants to. He is crazy, madly, passionately in love with you. "My beloved has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies." (Song of Songs 6:2). If you want to make it really special, you can light some candles (it's not so far off from oil burning in the temple in Israel, and we are his temple). Go down to Bath and Body Works or Hobby Lobby or Hallmark or somewhere and get some candles (tea lights are great too). Set the scene that this is your time to worship your Beloved, our Holy God. And invest in him. He is more important than anyone or anything else :)

3) Become one with him in heart. We must get intimacy with our Love Jesus in body, soul, mind and heart to enjoy him and to worship him with all we are. Intimacy of the heart with God is oh so important to our life story. Try this: go into your bedroom or living room alone with him and maybe a cup of tea or coffee (conversations are always better over tea or coffee, I always say) and spill everything to him. If it's a secret in your heart, tell him! Yes, this might take a while and some of it might bring some tears. But if we are never truly naked before him, both in intimacy and in every part of our heart (even the broken parts), we won't be able to fully enjoy him and worship him when we are intimate with our Beloved.

It's okay :) God will never, ever break your heart.

And after it's over, you'll be more madly in love with him than ever because his names of Savior and Rescuer and Lover will take on a new depth. You'll be even more crazy in love with our Beloved Jesus :)




But not only are we in love with God, we also have to fall in love with others. With the people in the world. When we love God and others we fulfill both the first and second great commandments. It doesn't have to be big. You don't have to do anything huge (although we all like to do things big if God let's us). Love all, but focus on those that God has given you to image him to specifically. Maybe this will take some thought. Maybe it won't. And also, where do you want to help and love others? Is it doing things in the background, serving without asking anything, helping in kids' ministry at church, spending some time at the homeless shelter, loving that one friend who is hard to love? Whatever it is, we are in a broken world and we are his light. You are his light. Don't let it flicker out. Be open and vulnerable to others and love them, while protecting your own heart. It's Christmastime and the opportunities to bring a little of the joy we've received from our relationship with God abound in number. Everywhere. Let his Spirit guide you :)

I'm a father. And I'm crazy about my little girl :) I have a 'bookmark' of sorts-it's actually a page I tore out from Meg Meeker's Strong Daughters, Strong Fathers and it reminds me of how important and cherished my relationship with my little girl is. I think the Daddy-Daughter relationship is one of the most important relationships. I remember when we found out we were having a girl, I felt so honored that God would give me of all people a little girl. A girl is so important, boys too, don't get me wrong, but girls are special. I remember talking one of the pastors at my old church who had a little girl also and we both agreed that we felt so special for God giving us and entrusting us with one of his girls :)



One of the biggest things I will ever do is love my daughter. To love her and teach her and show her how to grow up and be a Godly woman (although I don't want her to ever grow up!) It's hard to imagine sometimes that I have immense power in my love with her. To show her attention, to make her laugh (which is my absolute favorite), to make her smile-these are the things that a father has the power to do. It's a miracle. I only pray that my love for her will somehow show her our Heavenly Father's heart for her. My wife and I both want to adopt. A lot! There are many children out there who are hurt, broken and lonely. And that should not be. We badly want to bring them into our home and family so that they will never be hurt or alone again. We want them to grow up in a family of our God and not have to fend for themselves.

You don't have to have kids or adopt to show them they are special. My wife. who has the most beautiful heart in the world, says Hi everyday to a couple of kids walking home from school each day. She even made them cake pops (which are delicious if you've never had them) once. My wife is awesome :)

Whatever it is, wherever God has placed you, 1) Love Jesus ridiculously with everything you are and 2) Love others as your own self. Do these two things and you will, as our Love Jesus said, "not [be] far from the Kingdom of God." (Mark 12:34, NIV)

Rainy Night/Snuggling with God/Image Bearing

It's a rainy, cold night in Oklahoma. There was light drizzle and fog earlier and it's dark and cold. Perfect! That's means extra snuggling with my lovely wife and family and Jesus :) And some hot tea too! I'm essentially a bear. A small bear (I'm not a big guy), but a bear nonetheless. I really like to hibernate in "the cave." Rainy nights fit that bill perfectly. There is not a better reason to do some extra snuggling and sleeping when it's cold and rainy and in the middle of the night (even if it's a light rain, or snow-which is even better). This whole thing started when I left OU and walked to the parking garage after taking my physics test (which went well, thank you very much!). It was cold, drizzly, perfect. Throw in some Death Cab and talking with Jesus as I drove home to my wonderful wifey and I was happy. Our Beloved gives us such great little "gifts" like these moments through the day and night. My wife actually thinks I'm more like a cat. She sayst I have catlike-tendencies (which I will not discuss here-btw). Anyways, in honor to that, I'm hoping to look like this guy below in his pj's in a little bit:



How wonderful that God is our delight! He is the delight of our hearts and his love is just so amazing, so beautiful. I just want to send encouragement out to anyone struggling with our Love Jesus Christ and this world (He is oh so worth it!). Never forget that you are an image of our God and his very own Beloved, betrothed to him and adopted into the wonderful family of our Father and given his lovely Holy Spirit to never leave us forever :)

I'm up late studying for finals this week in order to prepare for "the final showdown." Some of the ways that I image God is through being a husband and father, but also by writing about his love, and meteorology. I do all of these thing with Jesus and to discover more of him and find new and beautiful places to have intimacy with him. We all image God. If you haven't stretched out in your heart to find how you image him, do it! You will be pleasantly surprised :) Especially if some of the ways you want to image him are things you secretly would like to do, but never really admit it to anyone, even yourself. Like maybe writing? Or cake decorating? Painting or something artistic? What kind of ways do you want to image him? It's okay if it's secret, you can keep it just between you and Jesus! But whatever it is, do it! You won't regret it. I really like cold, rainy nights with my Love Jesus sitting with me as I write and do atmospheric physics. What do you like to do and would like for Jesus to be with you in it? It could very well be a new place you can delight in God and through it get your heart's desires by having Jesus' presence with you in something you love (Psalm 37:4). Whatever it is, go for it!

To Burn

Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of Yahweh - Song of Songs 8:6

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD - Psalm 27:14

The soul surrenders herself wholly to God, and God gives Himself wholly to the soul...But ah! what a distance is yet to be travelled, and what sufferings to be undergone before this eagerly desired union can be granted or consummated! - Jean Guyon, a 16th Century French Monk, Song of Songs of Solomon

When we surrender to Jesus, we enter into a place that is more intimate, more reserved, more pure than any other. It is so enjoyable, so desirable, so joyful, so wonderful.

As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. - Isaiah 62:5 (NIV)

When we come to him just as we are we get to enjoy his presence in ways we never thought possible. It's an closeness and intimacy oh so magnified with our God. It feels wonderful, enjoyable. It's a place where we can worship freely, where our words of worship and thoughts of worship somehow translate into spiritual kisses upon the Beloved. It's something incredible and joyful and after we've been intimate with him for long, we are left in a state of aching. It is an aching for both more worship and closeness, but also an aching to finally be wrapped upon him and know him and embrace him. It is an aching for the consummation of our marriage to our God.

[As a brother in this family of God, I entreat you: don't let go of him. He is priceless, beyond anything this world could ever offer. If there is anything, anything at all in your world that could pull you away from him, throw it away! Give yourself to him and he will love you forever. You are the desire of his heart. He wants you and never wants to be away from you. Don't take anything that is below him as something in place of being with him. Worshiping our beautiful Lord Jesus and being one with him is far greater than anything this world could offer.]

And so now we must wait upon our Lover. We must wait upon the Son of God to come to us. He will. He said that he would one day (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18). But as a beloved left waiting for our Lover to come home from the war, we are left to burn in our desire for him. In this time we must cultivate patience. It will not be too much longer and we will be in his embrace. But for now, we must wait and be patient. As Jean Guyon said,

He is not yet a Bridegroom whom I may embrace in the nuptial bed, but a bundle of crosses, pains and mortifications; a bloody husband ( Exodus 4:25), and crucified lover, who desires to test my faithfulness, by making me partaker of a good share of his sufferings. For this is the part of the soul at this period.

We are waiting upon our God. And as we wait we can foretaste the enjoyment of our God in us, as a bridegroom enjoys his bride, when we worship his gorgeous Holy Spirit. We have him forever and it will only get better :)

As St. John of the Cross, the 16th century Spanish priest, wrote in his Spiritual Canticle of the Soul and the Bridegroom Christ (which is considered by some to be a free-form version of Song of Songs):

(Stanzas 6, 37, 38, 39)

Oh! who can heal me?

Give me at once Yourself,

Send me no more

A messenger

Who cannot tell me what I wish

We shall go at once

To the deep caverns of the rock

Which are all secret,

There we shall enter in

And taste of the new wine of the pomegranate.

There you will show me

That which my soul desired;

And there You will give at once,

O You, my life!

That which You gave me the other day.

The breathing of the air,

The song of the sweet nightingale,

The grove and its beauty

In the serene night,

With the flame that consumes, and gives no pains.

Healing With God

This is one of the hardest things to do in this world. I've walked through something like this in myself and with people I know who are trying to heal in their heart but are just stuck in the past.

"It's like it just keeps popping into my head."
"The memories won't go away."
"If time heals everything, why hasn't it healed yet?"
"I can't let it go."
"I keep getting reminded about it from all this music, all these places, these movies, times, etc. I just want it to go away."

I think most of us have thought things like these sentences at some time in our lives. We are in interesting position. Jesus called us gods and goddesses (John 10:34; cf Psalm 82:6). We were meant to live in unending pleasure and intimacy with Jesus, our Source, and each other. And yet instead we were born into a fallen world and have been hurt, taken advantage of, and we've done unto others as they have done to us in revenge. And in the midst of the storm, it can feel like our light, who we are inside and the holy and good God has made us into, can start to flicker in and out as the dark rain pours down. In these times, it's easy to let go of our God. But we can't. He is called our Savior for a reason. He saves us.

It's hard to have intimacy with God and with someone you love here when you've been hurt. There are waves of guilt, pain, darkness that breech the love and intimacy we should enjoy. For some people, it can be hard to imagine intimacy with God, a rapturous spiritual ecstasy, one that surpasses physical intimacy here when they have been so taken advantage of physically in hurtful relationships. And so deriving spiritual intimacy with Jesus but still having those scars is very difficult. For many, it's just "getting past what happened" and if that ever occurred life would be good.

Healing can require many things. No two wounds are the same. Some require vulnerability and opening up to someone who is trusted (a spouse, a friend, someone else). Others require deep introspection and must be handled internally. All healing requires Jesus' Holy Spirit. And only through him can we find real healing. There does exist a healing that brings about complete destruction and separation of the pain and the wound and the evil done to you and justice will be brought about through Jesus Christ and the cross. God promised us this for his coming Kingdom:

The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. Isaiah 65:18

It, whatever it is for you, will be gone and never remembered again. Not by God, not by you. The cross and punishment Jesus took for us is above all pain, all hurt, all guilt, all loss and it takes in whatever has happened to us and it makes it dissolve in his blood. And we are made new. You are made new. And you will be renewed.

Inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)

What are some ways to pursue healing by our Love Jesus Christ?

1) Replace the pain with our Lover and life to come with him.
"Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2.

Replace those thoughts and mental movies and pictures of what happened with intimacy with our Lord. With closeness to him. Run into his arms and he will draw near to you. Read Song of Songs and put yourself and God into the story. Read the prophets and see the life to come with our Father and our family. Throw away the old things that remind you of what happened and instead surround yourself with the gifts God has given you. Ask him to send you little love letters throughout the day and just let him woo you and let you indulge in his love. Let his love cleanse you and draw you near to him to heal you. Be open and vulnerable with your God and Jesus will sweetly heal your broken heart.


2) Grieve. This is oh so good for us.

It is better to go to a house of mourning than a house of feasting. Ecclesiastes 7:2

We need to acknowledge the wound and that it mattered. It mattered because we matter. You matter. Your heart is important. You are an image of God, beloved of our Lord Jesus Christ. Your heart is more treasured by God than anything else in the universe. When you get hurt, it matters. It matters to Jesus. Let the tears come. Get some time alone and grieve. Cry and let the pain out and embrace it. This is good, this is purifying, this allows the wound to be cleansed so our Beloved God can heal it.

Jesus grieves for us. Romantic love is passionate. Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like the flame of Yahweh. Song of Songs 8:6. And when that fire is disrupted, it hurts. Jesus feels the same love for us. God gets sad. He hurts. He cries. He weeps and mourns when we hurt him. When we hate him, turn against him, not desire him, leave him.

Read this excerpt from God's mourning over his lost loves:

Oh, that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears! I would weep day and night for the slain of my people. Oh, that I had in the desert a lodging place for travelers, so that I might leave my people and go away from them; for they are all adulterers, a crowd of unfaithful people. They make ready their tongue like a bow, to shoot lies; it is not by truth that they triumph in the land. They go from one sin to another; they do not acknowledge me, declares the LORD. - Jeremiah 9:1-3 (NIV)

That sounds familiar to me. It sounds like something I could have written at some points in my life. It sounds similar to the story of others. It's our story at some point when we get hurt by the object of our love. Grieving is not something we have to overcome in order in order to finish the path God has for us, grieving is an essential process we go through while we're on the path for different seasons in life.

3) Forgiveness. We must in the end have forgiveness. We must forgive those who hurt us. Yes, this one may take the longest, but we are on a path to become like the Son's character. We are going to marry him. We are his forever. And he died for us to take away our sins. We could not be unforgiving and our God forgive him else we will be like the unforgiving servant. (Read Matthew 18:21-35) This could take a long time for you and your heart, but it must be our end goal in the healing process. Maybe this involves telling the person who hurt you that you forgive them. Maybe it doesn't. You will know from the Spirit leading you.

As a brother in Christ I just want to send encouragement to you if you are hurting and going through the healing process in Christ. I hope our Beloved God will bring it to full healing and for it to be gone forever very soon. Remember, even in the midst of the storm Jesus calmed it by telling it to stop. He can do that for you also :)

Falling in Love with Jesus for the First Time

A lot of people might have reservations about knowing Jesus in an intimate way, as two lovers would know each other. Many people have always related to Jesus in a reverent, honorable, but distant way. One of the prevailing ways of thinking of the boundaries of intimacy is that God is on his throne and we are before him and that's that and we are to worship him from that distance with all that we are...But there's more to us and God than that.

When I first became a Christian over 9 years ago I struggled with a passage in the Bible:

At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. - Matthew 23:30 (NIV)

At the time I was still waiting for God to bring me my wife, but I was also excited for when he would return for us. That verse above crushed me though. I did not want to just go to Heaven and miss out on ever having a wife, or never have physical intimacy with my wife, or never have children. And all I had with God was this distant and reverent relationship; I was zealous for him but had no idea what intimacy with him was like. I struggled with that for a year, until I came across some book in the discount section at a bookstore called Journey of Desire by John Eldredge. In it there is a chapter where Eldredge is asked a question by some career-single women, who thought there was little chance that they would ever marry in this life, at a retreat, "Is there sex in heaven?" They didn't want to miss out on joy.

But what's the answer?

God wrote out the interplay of love, passion, desire between a man and a woman. He gives us this incredible picture of oneness in marriage, intimacy, joy; but what does it really mean? Is it just for our own happiness and have no connection to intimacy with God? That would be antrocentric.

The Spirit wrote through Paul:

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32 (NIV)

God is surprising us by saying all that he made in marriage, romance, love, desire, intimacy, sex, etc between a husband and a wife, all of that is like an image in the mirror of the kind of relationship he desires with us. It's not just like it, but it's far deeper, far more close than marriage here. The Bible is a romance and God is our Heavenly Lover who is trying to woo our hearts through his invisible Holy Spirit whom he sent to be with us in this world.

True, intimacy is hard when our Lover is physically gone and we can only be close with his Spirit whom we cannot touch and we cannot see. He promises though that one day we will!

Your eyes will see the king in his beauty and view a land that stretches afar. Isaiah 33:17 (NIV)

Jesus called himself our Bridegroom when he was on Earth (Matthew 9:15; John 3:29). He is pursuing a love relationship with us, a romance that will literally take our breath away

God wants to be pursued. Remember Genesis 1:27? We are made in the image of God. "In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." We bear the image of God as men and women. And it's not just in our bodies, it's in our souls. God is Spirit (John 4:24), so how we image him as men and women must be in our spirits. Like any woman, God wants to be pursued. He wants to be wanted. He wants to be desired. He wants to be worshiped. And so he wants us to play our part in this relationship:

Truly, you are a God who hides himself - Isaiah 45:15 (NASB)

And he wants us to come find him.

How hard this is though here on earth. We cannot see him, cannot touch him, embrace him, hold him, kiss him, smell him, hear his voice, hear his words, go to a coffeehouse and have coffee with him and talk for two hours and cultivate deep emotional intimacy. We are limited. And on top of that, we must deal with the world which offers us a base, albeit quick solution to our problem of desire: a watered down sinful version of what we need from our God. That morphs into all sorts of sin from pornography to random sex to deep emotional heart addictions. It's tough, there's no getting around it.

But God wants our romance. And he'll do anything to get it. Even send his Son to die and rescue us. And oh we will get our romance with him. That's what Heaven is for. One day we will marry him (Revelation 19:7-9).

“In that day,” declares the LORD,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master. - Hosea 2:16

But until then, Jesus, our Lover, wants us to hope for him.

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? - Romans 8:24 (NIV)

If we make him our fulfillment of our hearts' desires, our Portion (Psalm 73:26), and rejoice in him, he will give us the desires of our heart in our romance with him forever (Psalm 37:4) and also in life, either here or in eternity. What we have coming with him is a wonderful love. I can only imagine trillions of years into eternity, how we will sit down as a family and look through all the memories we've had with our Beloved. And rejoice in knowing we have an eternity more of them to come.

But what of the original question? Is there sex in Heaven? Of course. Hebrews 8:5 says:

They serve at a sanctuary that is a copy and shadow of what is in heaven (NIV, in reference to the temple)

As we are images of God, earthly marriage is an image of our heavenly marriage with Jesus, so earthly intercourse is an image of the spiritual intercourse we will share in with God. The joy, the ecstasy, the utter abandonment and trust and giving of the heart and complete nakedness of earthly intercourse are an image of the ecstasy and rapture to come in the spiritual intimacy with Jesus. What is worship? Worship is all of the things above plus utter abandonment, complete adoration of the other in such an unveiled bare way that the other is lifted up as our own God as we our lost in the ecstasy and rapture of loving the other. What else does that sound like? Sex? I think the best ansewer to if there is sex in heaven is, "Yes, we will worship God in Heaven. Thank you!"

Using God's Family

We have so much impact upon each other. How much does it change your day when someone tells you something sweet, something encouraging, something loving, something just plain nice. At the far end of the spectrum, it can bring a gentle smile to our face. And at the other end, it can literally bring someone back onto a path God has set in their heart to complete. "The lips of the righteous nourish many" Proverbs 10:21 (NIV). How true is that? We don't just lack for each other in this life, we really do need each other for life to be called good by God. Remember how God said Eden wasn't right until Adam had Eve? And this isn't just about romance and love, it's friendship too. It's our love with God and our family with each other. Jesus is our Beloved and our Father. And he's the Father and Beloved of many others. We love God's children, our own brothers and sisters. "This commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also." 1 John 4:21 (NRSV) We need each other. When God made us as the body of Christ, he meant for it to be close. How much more close could it be when he writes that we are apart of his own body, that we are all one in him? We are suppose to know each other, celebrate each other, love each other. 1 Corinthians 12:25-27:

So that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. (NIV)

Unfortunately, our own Christian world is marred by separation, infighting, loneliness, and bitterness. I used to be plagued by many of these feelings myself and still struggle today. I covered over it by saying I was resilient, a warrior for Christ, and so I had to endure it to become stronger as a soldier in God's army. Which in a way is true for most of us at some time, but we cannot give way to anything other than truthfulness when it comes to our heart's desires for others and for family, God's family. For being on the inside, instead on the outside looking in. We have to let Jesus fulfill our intimate needs and relational needs. Only then will we be able to be vulnerable enough to acknowledge our desire for others and family and love as our true heart's desires are met by our Beloved and we don't have to rely on others to come through for us since Jesus already has. Perhaps not just being vulnerable, but rejoicing in the vulnerability is a better way to put it. If you've ever given yourself over to Jesus in intimacy and worship, the surrendering part of intimacy is always extremely joyful. It's this naked, unveiled, inviting place where it's God and us and our worship of him inside us is giving him spiritual kisses all over his beautiful Spirit; somehow worshiping him with our words in private, in surrender translates into our soul kissing and embracing his Spirit. It's inviting him in to be worshiped in his temple, our own bodies, personally, alone with him. It's why Jesus said when we pray, we are to go into our bedrooms and close the door and be alone with him (Matthew 6:6). It's our intimate time with him in the divine romance we partake of in his love. We daily need to allow for him to romance us and us worship him. We need his Spirit's embrace and caresses; if not, we are too tempted to stay in a place that is either stagnant or, worse, fall away from desiring our Beloved Jesus Christ.

How often we are here:



When we really should be here:



We all have our own version of headphones. [Had to throw in some 500 Days of Summer somewhere to keep it indie :) ]

Once we have him and our worship of him fulfills our heart's desires, we are free to love others and be open to others in deep relationship. And that's we need to do. (I 100% learned from my romance with Jesus how to love my wife)

As for friendships, it is similar. We need friends. We need people we can share ourselves with. With whom we feel comfortable being vulnerable and open with. We need brothers and we need sisters. We need the family of our Father. It's why Paul writes over and over in his letters how badly he wanted to be with the people in the towns he had visited. Paul loved his brothers and sisters so much that he wanted to stay alive over being with Jesus, which is so much more, and away from his body so that he could continue to pour into the younger children of God (Philippians 1:23-26). And so we read over and over as the bride of Christ grows in the letters how badly this family wants to be together. God meant for us to be a big deal to each other if loving others in this family is enough to make one of the men God chose to write part of the Bible through desire to love and grow his younger brothers and sisters here on earth instead of being in Jesus' embrace in heaven. And of course, this can be a trap for some as people can make idols out of each other and loving, Godly fellowship just as easily as making an idol out of music or TV. We are not so much a social club as we are a family and friends, and a bride caught in the torrent of the Son of God's fiery love for us. The real point, the overall big picture, I think, the Holy Spirit is trying to make through all the writing of the letters of brotherly and sisterly love and closeness of God' family is that it is really good to be close to one another. He doesn't want us to miss that because it will make us oh so happy here and now and it's the reality of life with Jesus in the future. It is so good for us in life here and now and in forever to be together that he wrote it as the second great commandment (including loving those who do not have Jesus' saving redemption).

We all know and celebrate our relationships with others/or celebrate what we would want if the world was perfect in our daydreams. It's the whole 'iron sharpens iron' thing. It's a passing of something intangible from men to men and women to women where we are given more of something of who we are. It's a passing of spiritual matter through words, fellowship, conversation, sharing, adventure, planning for the future, _____ [input what you love here]. And it's one of the ways we image the fellowship of God with himself; like the closeness of the Son with his Father. I was reading Captivating earlier and I really liked these couple parts about sisterhood:

"I love the way women are with each other. When I gather with a group of women friends, inevitably someone begins to rub someone else's back. Hair gets played with. Merciful, tender, caressing, healing touches are given...Little girls have best friends. Grown women long for them. To have a woman friend is to relax into another soul and be welcomed in all you are and all that you are not. (p. 179-180)

For women of God, this is something that is deeply needed and desired. I know that my wife needs time with her closest sister in Christ. It's refreshing and wonderful to her in a way that only could happen through their friendship. As for men, we need a brotherhood. I love sitting around with one of my brothers in Christ over a cup of coffee and talking about God and his Word; trying to figure out Jesus and celebrate his love and passion and desire for us all while drinking the strongest cup of coffee man could possibly brew. It's not anything I'd take over hanging out with my wife or family, but it is special. And it's important. We need to use God's family, for ourselves, for our souls, and definitely for each other.

Going Somewhere When It's Foggy With Our Beloved

Lately, my beautiful wife and I have been trying to figure out where God is taking us. I like James 4:13-17 about future plans:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do land doesn’t do it, it is sin for them (NIV)

It's not so much that making plans is wrong, it's that if it's our Lover's desire that we go there with his gorgeous Spirit, then it's okay to make those plans. With graduation only months away, new opportunities abound. We both miss community. Rich, lovely community with friends that we can call brothers and sisters. And not just that whole "Brother Bill" or "Sister Jane" from the churchhouse, but friends that truly are closer than a brother or sister. I've had friendships like those, and lost them. We miss that. We miss doing things spiritually throughout our day that influences other believers and non-believers. It's all a yearning for the second great commandment.

The only problem is knowing how God will bring our lives about in the future. The future is oh so foggy. Our very close friends have a ministry in Alabama. We can't help but daydream what life would be like if we did move. What community would be possible. What friendships could begin. What changes could be made for people who do not know our beautiful Love Jesus Christ.

The biggest challenge in meteorology is knowing the future (what is the weather going to be like tomorrow?). God created the atmosphere such that there are 5 main equations which can describe how the atmosphere is at any such time. The only problem is that the equations are so complex that we cannot solve them! God really locked down the future air-tight! (The equations are called non-linear partial differential equations-PDEs- and we don't have any mathematical methods to solve them yet. In fact, if anyone where to make a proof to "solve" one of the problems, the Navier-Stokes problem, they would get $1 million dollars from the Millennium Foundation! In reality, we probably won't be able to solve this equation till probably past the End Times!)

We are still thinking/daydreaming/even looking for jobs in Alabama now for next year. If it's our Beloved's will, we will go! Of course, the weather down there is so hot. And I'm a huge fan of summer, but winter is my fav. So we'll have to take plenty of family trips up to some cabin or place in the Blue Ridge Mountains so I can still see snow :)

eg this: