One of my other cousins was wearing a pair of really cool shades at the wedding-something that Brad Pitt would wear to a fancy restaurant after a movie premier or something. And I got so jealous. So today at the mall I bought two pairs of shades, the "Armani" shades and the "Gucci" shades. I put the names in "" because I think the name of the shades were those brands, not the brand itself. A couple years ago, I went to Honduras on a mission trip. We went to a ghetto in Tegucigalpa, which is this sprawling, mountain city with over a million people. Every where you look, all the people in that city are wearing the huge, rockstar aviators. People in the ghettos are so poor that any work is work. I always buy the "off brand" stuff like the awesome "Gucci" shades I bought today because that pair of sunglasses gave some woman who assembled the shades the money to buy some food for her children in, probably, one of the underdeveloped Latin American countries. When we were there we played with all of the children who went to school at the mission. I played soccer for a week straight with the boys there. And as soon as school let out, a bunch of kids would come out looking for us to play with then. I always wore my shades then, and the kids made fun of me and called me "quatro ohos." (4 eyes) It was great swinging the kids around by their arms, playing chase. It was fun. And the countryside is gorgeous. God made Latin America to be beautiful.
We're right in the middle of a transition period. Between a really busy wedding week and then coming back down to earth after being done with all that we were committed to doing with our family. That's a difficult thing to accomplish sometimes it seems. My relationship with God has suffered the past day. Sometimes I feel like I sacrifice my internal time with God because I'm trying to get back to normal with my family after a rushed couple days. And it's true, I do. I don't ever put God above my family in my heart, but in my actions I frequently do on busy weeks. Mostly to my own doom. He really is my sustainer in who I am, especially in how I act. When I'm not close to him, I am prone to frustration, I am less patient, I'm stagnant inside because I'm not pursuing God. It's just not a good feeling. What I would do without Jesus' grace?? There would be no hope for me. I need my God to tell me, It's okay for being distant from me today because I forgive you and I have grace on you. And he does. And that's exactly what I need. It's what we all need. Without Jesus' grace, we would be in serious trouble. Thankfully the One who is in love with us, doesn't have bitterness in his heart, or hold grudges against us. We don't have to worry about him saying to us, just out of the blue one day, "You remember that one day you forgot about me. That made me so mad." He is God, not man (Hosea 11:9).
I had a couple moments last night that just made me want to be at our wedding with Jesus. Like walking down the aisle with my wife. That could be one of the last times I'll ever be able to do that with her. But, oh man, I want to do it again. I want to walk with her down the aisle to meet Jesus. How wonderful that would be for me! And then everything else about the wedding. The food (can you imagine what catering we will have at our wedding with God?), the flowers (they will put the world's finest roses to shame), and especially the dancing (I can't wait to dance with Jesus and my wife at our reception to kick off our forever, happily ever after marriage. How fun!)
It is hard though to get back down to earth with God. I'm not sure what it is with us as humans that really seems to block God when fast paced events come about (think about how dangerous busyness is to us as lovers of God?), but whatever it is, we have to block it out instead. I think the culprit is in the fact that we are fallen, but still very sensual beings (a good thing), as flawed as we are, and are designed to understand physical things through our senses. But we are in almost rehab when it comes to our bodies. Because God made Adam a walking spirit, but we have lost our ability to feel, see, touch, hear, and taste spiritually. When we get overloaded with our physical senses, they can "override" our spiritual touch with God and try to get us to back off from God. Jesus is still invisible to us right now, and until our bodies are redeemed we have to deal with not getting lost amongst busyness.
The whole issue really brings us back to our hearts. What is in our hearts? Why do we do what we do for God? Do we get an emotional high off of it, or is it out of love? I started writing this blog because I've always wanted to be a writer and it gives me an outlet to release my thoughts on God for the day to relax myself. But from that, God has cultivated in me a true desire to help bring people into a deep love relationship with Jesus Christ. Years ago, I used to run a "cafe" that was owned by my old church. The whole thing was supposed to have been a ministry project; I loved the coffeeshop scene so I treated it as such. Everything related to it gave me this "indie high" and those emotions carried me far. They were centered on discovering Jesus, but I still needed to grow. I've always considered myself an outsider, and as I've struggled with that self image and who I am in God, I've come to desire to minister to the other people who feel they are outsiders. I'm a work in progress, like us all. I have a passion to let those on the outside in life (not the popular people) know that God is madly in love with them and that one day they will be on the inside with Jesus in his family. That makes me think of those people in Honduras where I was. I can only imagine being on the outside in that city; how terrible it would be at times. And that's our fight on this side of heaven. To bring God's Kingdom to everywhere in the world. It truly does take spiritual warfare to do it.
2 Peter chapter 3 sums up what God is doing now and in the near future. I think about how many people go through such hard times in this world. My wife went to Mozambique a couple years ago and saw serious hardship (we don't really know what poverty is in America versus Third World Countries). War, sex slavery, lust for power, our world is dominated by these themes and they are rampant on the black market. Yet God is not ending it all just yet.
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9. NIV
God loves everyone and truly wants to save everyone. He is delaying his justice to the parts of the world that so badly need justice in order to save those who refuse to come to him or do not know of his love. It really hits hard in times of transition when we remember what an epic story we are in with God. It's an epic romance caught in the middle of the war to end all wars. Regardless of whether we are homecoming queens, or baggers at the checkout counter at Wal-Mart, we are gods and goddesses in his sights if we have a love relationship with him. He is so madly in love with us, and so pure in his sight for looking at our hearts, that we are striking to him if we have his Spirit inside. As God wrote for us:
Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens. Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. Song of Songs 2:2. NIV
We may be walking side by side next to the football stars and the pop stars, but when Jesus looks at a son of God he thinks, "Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men." Which roughly translated it says, You stand out in the middle of all the plain men in the world to me. When he looks at a daughter of God he thinks, "Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens" Other people might be looking at "who's prettiest." But Jesus only looks at the heart. How many people pursue only outward beauty and yet to God's eyes, their hearts look like thorns.
Jesus is desiring us. And he is redeeming us. Viva our march to Heaven where we will finally be united in God's arms forever. And forever we will be with him.
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