Dying for Thirst in His Embrace

I have found throughout my life that no matter what I do, where I am, I have an omnipresent longing inside of me. It's been a driving desire through the years. I've come to the conclusion, there is no way to actually fulfill this permanently in life. It's all a desire for romance with God. For as long as I can remember as a teenager, I have always wanted just my wife. I never dated anyone other than her, she was my first kiss, my only girlfriend, my only bride, my wife for all time. I never wanted it any other way than that. And it would be perfect, I always dreamed. And I put my heart in Jesus' hands for that, and I got it :) Marriage and romance with your wife or husband is on the path to marriage with Jesus. My wife is my image of Jesus; my picture of his beauty in every way. She's incredible; she makes me think "whoa, this is my wife" when I see her. It's exactly the way I feel about Jesus except even deeper. Now, years later after I received Jesus into me as my Lover, I still find myself waking up in the desert, pining away for God's presence. I need Jesus. We all need this with God. There aren't any synonyms in the English language close enough to needing Jesus. We crave, need, must have, desire, pine, long for, etcetera intimacy with God. I need him to give me a rush of joy from his Spirit when I surrender to him throughout the day, every day. Lately, just to get a whiff of enjoyment of his Spirit, I tell him throughout my day at the office and school, "I surrender to you." And as Peter Kreeft said, it is exactly like a woman surrendering to a man in earthly intimacy. It is our souls surrendering to Jesus' Spirit and letting him come into us to love us and enjoy us and through the process we receive joy from him being inside us and we respond through worshiping him with our words - it is our only way of 'touching' God back with our souls. Surrendering to Jesus, enjoying him being inside you, and worshiping him is the most enjoyable thing you can do. Try it!

After days (or hours) of feeling like you're strung out on God and being intimate with him through surrender and worship, completely spent on him spiritually, emotionally, and physically, the longing for more takes hold. We start to think, "Is this it? I want more. I want to get as much of God as possible." Many people say that lust has no end to its capacity to consume. Very true. But lust is simply desire turned toward an(some) object(s) which are either not God or something not in his will for us to indulge in. Holy desire has no end and burns just as hard as lust, because they are the same thing. Desire is simply what we consider lust but pointed towards Jesus. We are physical beings; we have bodies made from the dust. And we have souls that can be deeply involved with intimacy with Jesus. But our bodies are not spiritual bodies. And so very quickly, we realize our dilemma. We are unable to physically hold and touch our Beloved. We live criss-crossed between two worlds. Like Psalm 63:1

My soul thirst for you,

My body longs for you,

In a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. (NIV)

We live in a dry and thirsty land. We need spiritual water, we need to be able to touch him, feel him, hold him, kiss him back. But we can't. Not now anyways. One day, yes, but until then, we must thirst for him. And live in the thirst and desire for Jesus. It's the number one thirst we will never be able to satiate until we are with Jesus in Heaven.