"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 NIV
How true is this definition from one of my bookmarked fav sites J Wikipedia concerning Stockholm syndrome:
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological shift that occurs in captives when they are threatened gravely but are shown acts of kindness by their captors. Captives who exhibit the syndrome tend to sympathize with and think highly of their captors. When subjected to prolonged captivity, these captives can develop a strong bond with their captors, in some cases including a sexual interest.
Lol. Sounds like a bad relationship. Right? This is the blog I’ve wanted to write for awhile. Not for any other reasons than, 1) we’ve all struggled with things that terribly hurt our hearts and 2) there are a lot of people who struggle with this right now. And it needs to be talked about.
So let’s do it.
Many people have been terribly hurt in this world. Jesus was right when he said we will have trouble in this world. A lot of people take horrific heart wounds at the hands of ex’s, many of all ages have been hurt by their parents who should have provided in one way but failed to, friends stab their friends in the back, brother goes against brother, sister against sister. In the middle of this, if the hurt is coming from a loved one like a significant other or a parent, many can develop almost Stockholm syndrome-like symptoms. Case and point: people in relationships who throw away their purity just to keep their boyfriend or girlfriend from breaking up with them. And they rationalize it by saying, they are in love. I’m a married man with a daughter and I can say securely, that is not love. I waited on my wife, I never had a girlfriend before her, she was the first girl I ever kissed, and she was worth every second 10x over of the wait (as hard as it was at times). If you are girl or a guy in a relationship like that and the person you are with you know you are not destined by God to be with as your husband or wife, run like heck!! Get out of there and save yourself. Save your heart, save your body, save your mind. Leave and run as fast as you can. Jesus lived as one of us and was tempted in every possible way. And he said for us to run away from things that want us to sin, especially sexual sins against our own body and others bodies, and hurt our relationship with God (Genesis 39:12) Our bodies are suppose to be temples of the Holy Spirit, and we are to be intertwined with God in spirit and body all day in worship. And that is how we are to get enjoyment and joy in God and worshiping him. Let Jesus’ words woo you, not some guy or some girl or just want to use you for their own pleasure. They honestly don’t care about your heart, regardless of what they say. Leave, run, go! The Holy Spirit will help you pack your bags. And he will help repair your heart (he won’t leave you alone in pain by following him. He’s our God). Jesus said,
As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go."Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father. Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family."Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." Luke 9:57-62 (NIV)
If you are in a relationship like this, leave. You are worth more than you can imagine, or anyone can. God sees you as a beautiful princess or a strong prince fit for hiskingdom as his spouse, not someone else’s. Which is why he says that we will not be married in his Kingdom in heaven (Matthew 22, Mark 12, Luke 20) We are all Jesus’ and only his to do with as he pleases. And what he pleases usually is what pleases us and gives us joy and pleasure. But if you’re stuck in the mud with someone like this, run away. I say this as a brother in our family from the Father.
Maybe you have already done that part. Now, long after the dust has settled, the war has been fought and is over, the ache, the pain, the memories, the thoughts, the complete and utter brokenness is still there and our lives become like one living in a lean-to composed of the wreckage of what used to be. Here are some thoughts about how to burn it all and get healed:
1. Remove everything that reminds you of what happened. Delete the music, burn your notes/papers/pictures, stay away from places, times, and things that bring back memories. Get rid of it all now, if not sooner. And make it a important to God by saying it is a sacrifice to Jesus. We are to sacrifice all of us, including our pain, to God. So burn it as a sacrifice and it will be pleasing to our Beloved Jesus.
2. Replace the void with a romance with Jesus. When, not if, you think about the past (or Satan tries to make you think about it) replace it with passionate, bare worship of Jesus in your spirit and heart. Give yourself fully to him. Romance him and let him romance and woo you. Replace the pain with pleasure of being completely naked in Jesus’ arms and being free finallyin a romance with your Lover. Read Song of Songs and put you and God in the story and daydream about how crazy he is about you! Get rid of the old and put on the new. Get lost in a passionate love affair with the Son of God.
3. Surround yourself with new things. If your friends or family keep bringing it up, tell them to not to talk about it with you. If that’s a problem, take a hiatus from them. Surround yourself with Godly people who will help with the restoration of the heart. And pour out yourself to someone you love. Let yourself have a good cry. “It is better to go to a house of mourning than a house of feasting.” (Ecclesiastes 7:2. NIV) And then let go. And begin anew. With your Lover Jesus by your side you can take on the world. Replace those old, painful songs and movies and places with new, beautiful songs and movies and things and places. Begin new associations. Begin new life.
4. Once you have won the war, and you will win because God always gives us the victory in our wars, don’t be bitter towards those who allied against you. Don’t harbor hatred or pain (that’s a tough one to do, btw), but let it go to Jesus. He will take revenge for you. Paul wrote in Romans 12:19: “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. The original verse Paul took that is from Deuteronomy 32:25: It is mine to avenge; I will repay.
In due time their foot will slip;
their day of disaster is near
and their doom rushes upon them." (NIV)
Jesus just wants you to move on and completely forget that pain and past. You also are not required by God live peacefully with them. You can completely live apart from them and never be around them again. It says, “If is is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18. (NIV) If not possible, ie if it causes you any pain, let it go. God will take care of them (as far as salvation, health, revenge, and prosperity and life goes). It’s no longer your concern or business. It’s God’s. Sometimes we obey Jesus Christ by notgetting involved any longer.
I sincerely pray as a brother in our family with our Father and Jesus our Beloved that if you are in this kind of situation, you will escape and be healed by our God Jesus Christ. My very best for you and yours and in Jesus find life and love once more and be set free from the sins in this world. Why would it be any other way than living completely freely in Jesus’ arms? Life is perfect there, forever and ever.
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