Faith

We are having our first rain of the summer right now in Oklahoma (subtracting the few popcorn storms we get during June). I love the rain. I'm sitting out on the porch listening to it drip quickly into the flowerbed. The birds across the street at the school and finding breakfast. The air is comfortably warm and damp. It's just a pretty, rainy morning. I've been having this problem with God lately. For some reason, I just can't get close to him. It's me and it's my fault; I know that much. But that wonderful intimacy that I have with him is just "on pause" it would seem. I go through this frequently in my relationship with Jesus. I'm still not sure why he allows me to go through it or allow me to do it to myself and us. But part of me just echoes David in Psalm 63:1, "In a dry and thirsty land where there is no water." I'm not really concerned about it being a detrimental problem for us; I have faith we will break through it and be close together. Perhaps later this morning.

"I slept but my heart was awake...my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure." Song of Songs 5:1,6 (NIV)

We all have things in life that just get through our heart's armor. And usually that is enough to break our day down with God. Mostly just because of the emotional reaction we get from thinking on the problem. If I was acting frustrated or snippy to my wife because my daughter is upset and I'm trying to do the laundry while also doing my math homework and work at the same time all the while performing a balancing act with the laptop, a stack of folded towels, and a cup of coffee, which I only would take on that much stuff at once because I'm ridiculous and just need to chill out, sit down and take a strong whiff and sip of coffee, breathe, and take one thing at a time, well then it's hard to find God and worship him when I refuse to sit down and chill. The more I take on at once, the harder it can be to surrender to Jesus. I know a lot of other people do not have that kind of problem, but they are dealing with one we all have as humans. And that's being deeply wounded by the heart and being stuck in that pain. How awful that is! And if you are going through that this morning or still have a bad taste of pain like that, I sincerely ask Jesus to completely heal you and take that out of your good heart. Folded towels and spilled coffee is nothing compared to taking shots in our hearts. Maybe from a painful breakup, or a parent who went out for a pack of cigarettes and didn't come back. It's things like these where we need Jesus' healing in our hearts more than ever; we need his presence and his touch and through that we have faith we will be healed. Or be transformed so that we don't care about spilled coffee and towels and what not.

One of the best ways I've uses to come out of the desert on a rainy, summer morning (how ironic, right?) is to talk. If you feel the Holy Spirit inside you slowly coming to you and asking for you to pursue him, then go for it! :) Drop everything and go for him! Because nothing else is really as important as he is. And then talk to him about it. And worship him and surrender to him. Or, if he is still distant, talk to your friends, your brothers, your sisters, your parents in our family of God. "Two are better than one." And if you don't want to have just two friends, have three! "A chord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9,11. NIV)

And always have faith. Our beautiful Lord Jesus is not going to leave anyone. He is our lovely God, our Lover, our future Spouse. Our Heavenly Father will not just go away. When we are in the desert, we just have to have faith that he will be back soon.

And he will.

Never will I leave you,
Never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)